There are two ways that people usually attempt to make a change — through doing or being. But only one of them works if you want to create sustainable change.

Change is the name of the game. 

People seek out coaching because they want MORE — be it more income, more impact, more fulfilment, more confidence, or even more inner peace — whatever it is that they want to express more of in their life or business. 

They may have read countless personal growth books or even watched all of Brené Brown’s or Simon Sinek’s TED talks. And while some of these things may have helped temporarily, the truth is…

Despite the strong urge to change, it never seems to stick. 

It usually goes like this: we try, we give up. We try a different approach, we give up. It becomes a never-ending loop of trying and trying to change, but not actually changing. 

Sounds familiar?

The reason this happens lies in a simple distinction: BEING vs DOING. It’s simple, but not easy.

Here’s an example…

Perhaps your goal is to be more present in your daily life, feel safe disconnecting from work and allowing yourself to rest.

But your calendar is overflowing with to-dos and follow-ups. What’s worse is the tension and stress haunt you after hours… Workplace interactions replay in your head, and you lose sleep over what your boss, colleagues, or clients might be thinking about you. You can sense that you’re approaching breaking point. 

The DOING solution looks like this: You could hire an assistant, delegate some tasks, take some time off, unwind by playing sport, journal, try positive reframing, practising gratitude – your options are endless.

You can do it all, but it will never be enough. 

The DOING problem is overworking. Over-committing. Overthinking and stress. 

The BEING problem is an unconscious need to prove yourself.

You see, it’s common to feel like your self-worth is tied to your productivity levels and achievements, meaning you might be scared of what you’ll find if you slow down. That fear then shows up as guilt and worry when you’re not working hard.

Address your BEING first, and let the DOING flow from there.

Your way of BEING is your self image. It’s the internal reality (like your thoughts, beliefs, compulsions, language, emotions and physiology) that influences and creates your external reality. 

When you are trying to make changes, you must address your way of BEING. Otherwise, sooner or later you will revert to your old defaults.

​​Problems arise when you don’t see your own way of being. 

But someone else can… a powerful coach who pays attention to ways of being. A coach who listens deeply to how you speak, your conversations and your stories.
A coach who notices your moods and your emotions. A coach who questions your unquestioned assumptions. A coach who is curious about how you hold your body. 

Love, Aleks

P.S.  Want to transform your way of being? Whenever you are ready, there are 3 ways I can help you do that:

• The Boardroom – a radical transformation programme designed to do just that – radically transform your life, or certain areas of it, rather than just add value to it. We begin with a private, one day Intensive followed by a deep coaching call with me, every two weeks for 3 or 6 months. 

• The Accelerator – if you are super sharp and self-aware you may not need deep coaching. That’s why I created The Accelerator Program.  Short, sharp, laser-focused, 50-minute sessions, every two weeks for 3 months. 

• Coffee Meeting – sometimes people don’t need regular coaching. Spend 3 hours with me instead. I’ll help you solve your biggest challenge or think more creatively than you could ever manage on your own. You’ll walk away with insight, strategy, and a concrete action plan. Coffee optional, focus mandatory.

Book a 20-minute consultation to see how I can support you on this journey.